Into The Sunshine
by slushied
Summary: Every morning on her way to school she would pass Brittany's house. The thudding wouldn't stop until they rode by and she saw that everything was fine at the Pierce household. /Warning: Pull out the tissues/


**The idea just came to me and then the next moment I was typing. This is the first sad thing I have ever written and I m quite proud of myself. I cried while typing it up. Reviews are nice :) Prepare yourself there is a sad road ahead.**

**I apologize for any mistakes i was typing through tears i did re-read but ya know still had tears**.

"San"  
>"Yea, Britt"<br>"Where do you go when you die?"

At this Santana frowned. She didn't like talking about these things with Brittany. Sighing she thought to come up with a suitable answer for her friend beside her. They were lounging in Brittany's backyard in the grass. The weather was hot and muggy but Brittany loved summer and so Santana liked it too. She closed her eyes as turned away from her friend to face the sky. She saw the red glow from the sun behind her eyelids.

"You go into the sunshine" She stated happy with her answer  
>"In the sunshine?" Brittany repeated her answer mostly to herself<br>"Yep" They lay in silence for a while side by side soaking in the warm rays of summer.  
>Santana could practically hear the gears in the other girls head turning still thinking about her answer.<br>"When I go into the sunshine...will you be there with me?" Brittany asked nervously Santana's heart clenched painfully in her chest. Her throat burned at the mere mention of Brittany's demise. Turning her head to look at the other girl she smiled slightly taking in her appearance.  
>"Of course B. I can't let you hog all of the rays now can I?" She asked trying to lighten the mood. Brittany smiled and shook her head.<br>"I'll share with you San" Santana swallowed hard not letting her internal pain surface  
>"Thanks B"<p>

It was nearing towards the end of June. Santana had just finished her first year of high school. Brittany wanted so badly to join Santana in school but was made to stay back and be home schooled. She was behind on her studies but nobody really made her do them. What was the point? They would rather see her have fun and enjoy herself while she could instead of taking all her time behind books learning things she would never get to apply. She had wanted to be a cheerleader Santana didn't see what she saw in it just a bunch of preppy girls with pom poms. But Brittany dreamed about putting on that red and white uniform from her towns high school and so Santana tried out. She wasn't particularly bad at it but she wasn't as good as she knew Brittany could be if she were stronger. She would bring her uniform to Brittany s house and let her wear it. She knew if something happened to it coach would flip, But seeing Brittany smile and twirl around for a while made her not care.

"Girls!" They heard Brittany's mother call from the porch "Santana's mom is here now" Santana sighed and turned over propping herself up on her elbows. Looking down at her blonde friend and smiling at Brittany's pout.  
>"I don't want you to go" She pouted<br>"I know, Britt but I'll be back here tomorrow just like always remember" Brittany nodded and sat up. Santana stood and offered her hand to Brittany tugging her up. It didn't take much her friend was unbelievably light. She was never heavy but the past year had taken it's toll on her body. They walked slowly back to the house hand in hand like always. Getting to the door Brittany paused tightening her grip on Santana s hand.

"San"  
>"Hmm?"<br>"What if-what if it's dark. How can the sunshine take me if it's dark?" She asked worried. Once again Santana swallowed against the painful lump in her throat.  
>"Because B. The suns always shining somewhere. When the sun goes down here it goes somewhere else and shines."<br>"So..It doesn't matter where it is? It won't forget me?"  
>"No Britt. The sun could never forget you" Brittany smiled and continued on into the house.<p>

As they went into the house and said they're goodbyes they never separated hands until it was necessary. With one last hug and hand squeeze Santana made her way out to the car where her mom would be waiting. She sat in the front seat looking out the window silently praying to anyone that would listen to spare her friend one more day, just one more. This had become a ritual of hers ever since Brittany had been diagnosed with cancer, and everyday her prayers had been answered. She knew that it wasn't realistic that her rituals would always work. Getting up in the mornings used to be a struggle for Santana but not anymore. She slapped off her alarm as soon as it sounded and got up. Showering and getting dressed. Heading downstairs she met her mother and quickly ate her breakfast.  
>"Ready?" her mother asked after she returned from brushing her teeth<br>"Yeah." She said lightly shouldering her bag. Making her way to the passenger side of the car her heart thudded in her chest. This had all become normal routine for her by now. Every morning on her way to school she would pass Brittany's house. The thudding wouldn't stop until they rode by and she saw that everything was fine at the Pierce household. No extra cars, or missing ones, no extra lights on. As they passed she let out a breath and her mother looked at her knowingly. She eyed the house until the very last moment.

Santana sat in her desk last period staring at the clock willing it to speed up. When the bell sounded she leapt from her seat and practically flew out of the school. Making no detours to her locker or to chat with friends she made a b-line to her mothers car and hopped in. Her mother not needing to be told quickly made her way out of the parking lot.  
>"I'll see you later mija" she said pulling into the Pierce's driveway<br>"Okay. See you later" She got out of the car and walked to the front door not needing to knock. She always came here after school so they expected her.

"Hello Santana, how was your day?" Brittany's mother asked her as she closed the door  
>"Same old same old, nothing exciting" She said smiling. Brittany's mother knowing Santana got right to the point she knew Santana wanted to hear.<br>"She's upstairs" At hearing this Santana stopped  
>"What?" Brittany was almost never upstairs in her room. It was warm out therefore Brittany should be outside waiting for her as always.<br>"She's getting tired, Santana" her mother said a solemn look on her face. Santana nodded in understanding and went up the stairs.

Coming to the door she pushed it open quietly not wanting to disturb the girl if she was sleeping. She saw her laying on her side on the bed facing the window. The shadows were dancing across her face as she slept. Santana slipped off her shoes and slid in behind her on the bed. Lightly running her fingers on the blonde hair splayed on the pillow. Brittany had done chemo for a while but refused after her hair started falling out. Santana had tried to convince her to continue but Brittany had told her she didn't want to lose her hair and it made her feel sick anyways. She didn't understand why medicine that was supposed to help only made her feel worse. "I didn't feel that sick before...I don't want to feel like that anymore San." She had told her. Santana nodded, she knew that it would only spare her for a little while longer anyways so she didn't push the fact anymore. She heard the other girl stir and smiled to herself.

"Santana?"  
>"It's me" Brittany rolled over slowly and looked at her smiling drowsily<br>"When did you get here?"  
>"Not long ago, Don't worry you didn't miss anything" It wasn't very bright in the room but she could she the darkness under her eyes.<br>"Good. I wanted to go outside today, but I'm just tired. I feel like, like I'm stuck in mud." She said frowning  
>"It's okay Britt it isn't that nice out today anyways."<p>

The pair laid in bed together chatting about anything and everything for the rest of the afternoon. Santana glanced at the clock on Brittany's wall and noticed it was nearing time for her mom to come. She returned her eyes to her friend.

"Brittany" she said letting out a shaky breath  
>"Yea"<br>"I love you, you know that right?" she questioned  
>"Yea, I know that silly. I love you too. More than anything San" Brittany said smiling. Santana leaned in and pressed her lips gently to Brittany's and kissed her with all the care and love she could muster. She pulled away and heard Brittany giggle which made her smile.<br>"Something funny?"  
>"Nope"<br>"Then what's with the giggling? huh" She asked smiling at the girl beside her  
>"Nothing. They're just happy giggles" She answered grinning back They laid in silence for a few second before Brittany spoke up<br>"Hey San"  
>"Yea"<br>"I've got something for you"  
>"Oh yea? Whatcha got for me Britt?" Brittany smiled again<br>"It's on my closet floor in a shoe box. You can get it, but don't open it okay."  
>"Okay" Santana said as she moved from the bed to retrieve the box. She picked it up from the floor and went back to the bed.<br>"What is it?" She asked  
>"It's a surprise." Brittany sing songed. Santana laughed<br>"Well, when can I open this surprise?" Brittany tapped her finger to her chin mocking deep thought  
>"On you're birthday"<br>"My birthday? But Britt that's in like 4 months"  
>"I know" she nodded<br>"So, why are you giving it to me now?"  
>"Just in case" Brittany said simply shrugging her shoulders. Santana left it at that<br>"Okay. Well, thank you very much for my birthday gift. I'm sure I'll love it very much"  
>"Promise you'll wait San" She said taking a serious tone<br>"I promise"

Santana moved back up the bed closer to Brittany and they laid staring up at the ceiling hands intertwined. A few minutes later Brittany's mom came to tell them her mother was there.

"I'll miss you San" Brittany said as Santana sat up.  
>"What do you mean Britt Britt, I'll be back tomorrow to see you" She said panicking in her head<br>"I know, but I always miss you when you leave. Even if for a while"  
>"Oh, I miss you too."<br>"Even if for a while?" Brittany asked hopeful  
>"Even if for a while B." They smile at one another<br>"It's supposed to be really sunny tomorrow Britt. Really nice, maybe we can go outside"  
>"Yea, That sounds nice San" She said. Santana nodded and got up leaning down to lay another kiss to Brittany's lips before she left.<br>"What was that one for Santana?"  
>"For until next time"<br>"Okay then" Brittany leaned up and quickly kissed Santana back on the lips  
>"Well, what was that one for Britt?" Santana asked laughing lightly<br>"Cause I love you and for until next time" She said through smiling  
>"I love you too Britt." Santana stood and picked up her box from the bed walking to the door<br>"See you tomorrow San... In the sunshine!" Brittany called to her from the bed. Santana turned around and smiled brightly for her  
>"You got it Britt. See you in the sunshine." Looking back one last time she left the room. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she gripped the box like a life line.<p>

The next morning Santana slapped her alarm off almost as quick as it came on. Not jumping up to start her routine like usual she laid in bed. A heavy weight had settled on her chest as soon as she opened her eyes. She had to breath deep just to get a breath into her lungs. She breathed out and with it came a strangled sob. Telling herself it was nothing she forced her way out of her bed against the weight and went through the motions of getting ready. The weight on her chest got more and more heavy as they neared the corner that Brittany's house sat on. Instead of deep slow breaths she now took sharp short breaths her chest rising and falling quickly. She told herself it was nothing the feeling she had, but she knew. Before they even turned the corner she knew. She didn't need to see the Pierce house to know it had happened. She gripped the side of her seat and her eyes fell upon the house. She heard her mother take in a slight gasp as they passed.

"I'm so sorry Santana" her mother said letting out a shaky breath. Santana stayed silent, as silent as the tears streaming down her face. She was clenching her jaw so tight she was sure her teeth would shatter. Her mother drove to the end of the street and turned around. Not taking the path back by Brittany's and had just gone back to their house.

Today was Santana's birthday. It was a Saturday so no school. She didn't ask for anything and stated she didn't want a party. Picking up the box from the closet floor it felt like lead in her arms. But she carried it, she carried it all the way. It was sunny and there was a light breeze in the air that picked up her hair as she sat with her legs crossed with the box in her lap yet to be opened. She smiled.

"Hey Britt britt. It's my birthday today. I waited, I waited B just like I promised I would." Sitting the box on the ground in front of her she slowly lifted the lid and eyed the content inside. A book, one of those scrap books that you can add stuff too with plastic covers for the pages. It was green, obnoxiously lime green. The front had a window and in it sat a picture of the two girls from one of those photo booths in the mall. They were making a funny face and Santana laughed at the memory before the hot tears started down her face. She opened the book and slowly taking her time flipped through the pages. Taking in everything Brittany had managed to squeeze on each page which was a lot. Santana sat going through it and every now and then she would look up and re-tell the memory that went with a certain photo laughing through her tears. After going through the entire thing she closed the cover it didn't close all the way because of the all the contents. Santana handled the book like it would fall to pieces in any moment and placed in back into the box.

"I love it B. Best birthday present ever and I'm not just saying that cause it's from you." She said smiling. She hadn't noticed how much time had passed as she took in the setting sun casting shadows on everything around her. She exhaled noisily. "I gotta go Britt, it's getting dark." She stood with the box in her arms it was still heavy but not as much as before. Bending down she pressed a kiss to the top of the cool marble "Love you B forever and always" she said in a whisper. The breeze picked up and made the leaves dance across the ground. Turning to leave she squinted and smiled, the sun was right in her face as she walked back home.

Fin.


End file.
